Tell Teh Troth










The Saga Continues

Tell Teh Troth is the first episode of The Fugly Hoes. Written by Lily and directed by no one, it aired on April 22, 2014.


It's a new school year at Nicaragua High School. Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf, the calc teacher, is given an ultimatum: either participate her lazy shit ass in an official extra-curricular activity or get fired on the spot. Afraid to be unable to pay life with her 19 cats, she accepts to run the school's glee club from now on.

Seeing as they're only idiots and fucks in the glee club, Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf tells them all that they're fired from glee club. They're all like "wtf" but she starts throwing cat food at them so they leave. She puts up a list for auditions for glee club.

A boy, tall and broad, walks up to the list and signs his name - Kyler Rucker. Walking onto the stage with his southern flop charm, he starts to sing She Looks So Perfect but is booed off the stage by Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf 5 seconds into the song.

A small girl with a big black weave walks up to the audition list and signs her name - Sydknee "Tots" Wulsh - below Kyler's. Shyly, she walks onto the stage and begins to sing Marilyn Monroe. Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf lets her finish the first chorus, but throws a pack of cat food at her then, ushering her to get the fuck off the stage.

A boy without appearance cause no one knows what he looks like and a small blonde girl with a joint in her hand walk up to the list. The girl puts out her joint with her tongue and signs their names with the ashy end of the joint - Becca ToBe and Tim "Sugar" Jamba. The two of them dress up in floor length sparkly dresses and perform Woman's World in a gaybulous way. Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf fell asleep halfway through the performance, the only reason she even let them finish. Tim begins throwing up all over the stage, some of it hits Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf, waking her up. She yells at them to walk off the stage, which they do.

A small boy with long, wavy, black hair and a fuckingly tall girl with a brown wig walk up to the list. Seeing as the small boy can't reach the list, the girl signs both their names - Nathanel Andorsren for the boy and Lily Brano for the girl - below Tim's name. All dressed in costumes and looking too fucking eager, they take the stage to pull off a crappy rendition of the crappy HSM tune Bop To The Top. Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf is speechless at the horrid situation, her quatriple chin dropping to the floor with a loud thud. Throughout the performance, Nate keeps pushing Lily around, at some point even kicking her off the ladder. When they're done, they both stand there like dumb fucks, since Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf is still speechless. They just walk off cause wow they can't wait this long.

Lily, being the annoying tryhard she is, convinces her best gay, Kyle, to also audition for glee club with her. He signs his name below Lily's - Kyle Hepburn - and they prepare a song. Taking the stage in the most flawlesbulous way yet, the two of them perform I Want It All, positively driving Mrs. Müller-Rottendorf to an orgasm (mostly Kyle though, cause apparently she's homophil).

A tiny, tiny, black-haired girl with huge glasses walks up to the list. Way too shy and tiny to sign her name, she runs away, but runs into Kyle and drops to the floor.

The rest is TBA dont fucking edit this it's my episode.


Song Original Singers
She Looks So Perfect 5 Seconds of Summer Kyler
Marilyn Monroe Nicki Minaj Tots
Woman's World Cher Becca and Tim
Bop To The Top Cast of HSM Lily And Nate
I Want It All Cast of HSM Kyle and Lily
Blow Me (One Last Kiss) Pink Kyle and Maya
Don't Stop Believin' Journey The Fugly Hoes


  • By the end of this episode, the following people are accepted into glee club:
    • Becca
    • Kyle
    • Lily, although she dressed has her male alter ego, liamiana. She reveals her true identity in Episode 2.
    • Maya
    • Nate
    • Tim
    • Kyler and Tots audition but are rejected at first. SPOILER They get accepted in the next episode.
  • Matt was supposed to audition for the glee club but spent too much time picking a song that he missed the deadline.